DOPE: "Apology to My Unborn" by Bassey Ikpi

This poem really resonated for me. I haven't been blessed with motherhood yet, but I am really looking forward being a Mom one day. I am equally excited and frightened about the experience, and I can relate to the way Bassey Ikpi articulates this in her poem.





Apology to My Unborn
by Bassey Ikpi

I fear that you will never sleep
That like these fingers long and too thin
To hold rings and commitments
You will inherit your mother’s insomnia
Her restless spirit

Child, I wish I could quiet all your questions
Tell you the exact number of stars
Show you where the moon goes at sunrise
I wish I could temper your fear of good byes
Prove that the earth spins regardless of whether or not you are awake to see it
I wish I could give you one morning worth rising for

I pray that you can close your eyes
See the world through the only thing I have fit to pass down to you
This heart of a dreamer
But I want you stronger sooner
Want you kind and brave
Want you unafraid to fight
For what you believe and need
Want you beautiful and free
I want you nothing like your mother
This girl trembling before each new day
Frightened of herself love
This girl who finds the word ‘woman’ a cloak too heavy to don
Most days
You deserve someone who carries the moniker like banner
Wears it easy like sun in summer

But, child, what can I tell you of peace
When you were probably conceived in a cacophony of questions
Still I think of you as possible
Can almost smell the breath of god light against you skin
Can hear you, softness, eyes closed laughing
Real as the beating staccato against my chest
But future, I fear if I
Cling too fiercely to your unconditional
That I will bruise you
Because I can not hold my breath long enough to shrug off these imperfections
I wonder, if they will make me too nervous to nurse you
Leave me unable to find a place where just loving you is enough
Child I will begin counting those same stars

And in dreams these arms will hold you
Whisper you soft into a still slumber
These hands, small and strong, like your grandmother
Will build for you a world of colored things
Will pray, palms towards the heaven, for a quiet
Without the tumble and chaos of
Words and worry
Child I pray that you know
That though feared, you are wanted
Know how you’ve lived lifetimes in this hollow expansion of breath
Know how easy you’ll fit
In my spaces
Need you to know this now before time and distances help me
To forget to tell you often enough
I hope that we will not be too much like shadow and brick
Voices thrown against walls
These hands are tired of building
And child I hope you will forgive my quiet
Those moments when I just can’t find the words to speak
I hope my silences don’t scare you
Won’t have you questioning your worth
Have you turning towards friends and strangers for comfort
I want you to like me
To know me
To know that there are moments when I will wrestle with moments
That shade my best intentions

Moments like now
Your mother
Lays awake
Watching, yet, another morning from the wrong side
Practicing slow this breathing that will usher you one day into this world
Here, I can, almost conjure up a proper image of you
I still fear that you will never know peace
But I already know I need your laughter
Need the gentle curve of your fingers
Need your eyes locked on mine
Need you here now for balance

But my future,
I will deny you your right to exist
Before I pass on this
Cracked soul of a storyteller
You deserve more than
Yhis threat of me as your mother
Still attempting my own world of colored things

So child, just promise me that you will be, eventually
I need your possibility
Like I need a night worth sleeping for



To check out more from Bassey Ikpi,check out her FaceBook Fan Page by clicking here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bassey-Ikpi-Fan-Page/37219645379

DOPE: "Sometimes Silence Is The Loudest Kind Of Noise" by Bassey Ikpi

This poem by Bassey Ikpi just evokes all of the wonderful moments about being a child: the safety, the excitement, the hopefulness. Enjoy!!!



Sometimes silence is the loudest kind of noise
Like sometimes it was best when
Girls were girls and boys were boys.
Like back when freeze tag was a mating dance.
Like back when "Do Over" meant you got another chance.
Like back when anxiety was worrying if Wonder Woman would make it out alive.
Like back when freedom was sliding backwards on a slide.
Like back when success was jumping off a swing and
Landing on your feet, then
Doing it all over again.
Like new shoes made you run faster.
Like getting Ms. Gross again for math was a disaster.
Like failure was a word we hadn't even learned to spell yet.
Like promises were sealed and kept with pinky bets.
Like a challenge was a double dare.
Like ugly was a cock-eyed stare.

And you liked it...
Like when you flipped your eyelids inside out
To impress that boy across the room,
'Cause that's all it took.
And there was no such thing as too soon,
As long as you checked the right box in that note from across the room,
The one that he...passed her.
Back when, "I don't know, maybe" was a legitimate answer.
Back when, "I need space" meant he needed more elbow room to draw,
So he got on the floor and he colored outside the lines.
Like the lines of color were on the floor,

So we just existed in sandboxes and playgrounds.
And we hop-scotched and dodgeballed
And everything I needed to know, I learned in a shopping mall.
Like don't wander off on your own,
Like know who you are,
Like know where you came from,
Like never let go of your mother's hand no matter what you do,
Like if you get lost, just stand there until someone finds you,
And someone will always look for you
Because someone will always miss you
And someone will always find you
And when you cry, someone will always remind you
In that quiet, quiet lullaby voice,
That sometimes silence is the loudest kind of noise.