"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
~ Audrey Hepburn
"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
~ Groucho Marx
" Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life."
~ Omar Khayyam
In May, what was intended to be a routine check up with my new doctor turned into months of fear, worry, and anxiety. He called me and said that there was something wrong with my blood tests, and that my white blood cell count was unusually high. He couldn't say why, but that further tests was needed. In subsequent visits the doctor did very little to assure me or give me some idea what could be the problem. I did what most people (FOOLISHLY!) would do in that situation, and took to the internet to look into what could cause this abnormality. And I ended up scaring the hell out of myself in the process.
So for these past few months, I lived with this fear not far from my thoughts: Am I sick? Am I dying? What would my family do? Will I be a burden on them? And with the stress I gained twelve pounds, upped my cigarette smoking to a pack a day, and discovered two new gray hairs rest comfortably on Miss Mooch.
All of this worry was immediately alleviated when I went to see the Hematologist. He saw my fear, he saw the tension and spoke to me like I mattered. He said I did not have Leukemia (Which was the biggest fear, as I have a family history!) and whatever the cause... it was not life threatening! I wept with relief when I heard those words.
This journey is not over... there are still test results to look into, and I still have to figure out how I can get this resolved and fast. But in the meantime, I am going to express gratitude for each breath that I take, and each step that I make each day.
For this week's song choice for Music Therapy with Miss Moon, I wanted to pick a happy, upbeat song that reflects the state of mind I am in... I am ready to get my life back on track! I am ready to get back to everything I had set out to do on my path before I got stuck in this fog of fear! With the lyrics included in the video, I hope you all will celebrate with me to "Coolin' in the Streets" by Andra Day with a bit of help by Ziggy Marley!!