Let's Talk Tresses Friday: Relaxed vs. Natural.... Let's End the Battle!

I was doing my weekly "natural hair" web search and I noticed a question from a young woman on Yahoo! Answers:

Why do black women argue over "relaxed vs natural" hair?

The biracial poster, asks why all these "natural women" with natural hair are preaching "black unity" and insulting her for relaxing her hair. I won't bore you with the details (you can click the link should you want to), but my first instinct was to post a reply with an eclipse-sized portion of shade about getting over yourself because this "natural woman" is not studying you. LOL

I decided against it, because I happen to agree with her on one thing: the debate and battle is pretty damn played out. I mean, wasn't Joie Lee, Tisha Campbell and 'em singing and dancing about this in 1988?!?!? I was eleven then, man!!!



With the popularity of natural hair on the rise, so has this "battle" that has been lived out between women with relaxed hair and women with natural hair. Even Dr. Drew had a recent "Good Hair" debate, which really brought the battle to the mainstream.

Photo Courtesy of MadameNoire.com

What's troubling about the argument, is that it seems to always escalate to a point where the debate turns into who has "good hair" and who has "bad hair"... and then we're stuck in front of Madame ReRe's again... and we all look like a bunch of trivial and superficial little girls for arguing about hair... when there are really far more serious matters we could collaborate and focus our attentions on.

How about we promise to be proud and feel beautiful about ourselves, and bunk who dares to tell us otherwise? How about we promise to treat our hair well and give it what it needs to be healthy? How about you relax away, honey... with pride... while I'll rock my braid outs with pride?!? How about you keep the Nicki Minaj quotes about "Perminator" to yourself (This actually happened to me recently.. the girl was all of 14, so I just shook my head and kept it moving! LOL ) and I won't accuse you of wanting to be anything other than happy? How about we ALL get over this debate and focus our attention into something positive... like feeding the hungry, educating our youth, and instilling in our sons and daughters a degree of self love that will ensure we never have to entertain the masses with arguments over our hair again? Who's with me? Sound off and leave a comment!

This is a Public Service Announcement...

http://www.goodhairmovie.net/

So, I'm finally watching THAT Tyra Banks episode....

... my Nappturality fam will know exactly what I mean when I say THAT episode... the episode entitled "What is Good Hair"?

I've been purposefully avoiding that episode because I knew it would raise my blood pressure, but I was inspired to watch it when I read Coily World!, a blog about natural hair that I am really enjoying (the authoress has become my new hair idol.. I am trying to reach her level, man!. I really wanted to gain an understanding of the show and I suppose a morbid curiosity got the better of me, so I sauntered off my high horse (ha!) and decided to watch the episode on You Tube. I am up to Part 3, and I had to pause that bad boy to write this blog!!!



I worked last year for several months for Carol's Daughter as a Customer Service Representative (so if you called or emailed in that time, maybe you got me!) and that was 99.5% of all the calls... women saying they want "good hair" for themselves or for their children. I cringe every time I hear that expression: "good hair"

As long as your hair is not leaving your head and committing random acts of violence on the community... it's good. And (much to my supervisor's chagrin) I didn't hesitate to tell my customers so. I would always stress to them to first embrace the natural texture of your hair and to love yourself exactly as God made you. If you decide to put a relaxer in your hair, so be it.. but be safe and take care of your hair. And if you mention relaxing a child's hair to me.. don't be surprise if you get a lecture. LOL

Believe me, I wasn't always so evolved. I transitioned from getting my hair pressed by my Mum in the "pressing chair" to enduring a relaxer at the beauty salon when I was eight years old. I put my last relaxer in my hair at age 17, and my hair has been natural ever since. I wore it in braids for years out of sheer laziness, so much so... that people who have known me for YEARS had never seen my real hair.

When I was approaching 30, I decided to do my version of the "big chop": I took my braids out, having no idea what I would find in there and with no idea on how to take care of it.

Blessed with internet access, I armed myself with oodles of info on products, techniques and advice. It's been almost two years and a lot (!!!) of mistakes later, I feel like I am starting to understand what my hair needs, and it's growing like a weed, so I must be doing something right!

I think what really started this process was not looking at my hair like a burden, but as something natural and wild that I can have fun with!!