Miss Moon Gets Healthy.... And Starts Over (Again!)

Ugh! I hate that I am writing this post, y'all! The past few months have been difficult, and I admit that I used it as an excuse to slack off on my "Get Healthy" routine. And as a result... I've gained four pounds.

Now four pounds may not seem like a lot, but those four pounds felt like such a failure to me. It was the motivation I needed to cut the crap, stop making excuses and get back on the treadmill, literally!!

So I started again last week, and I discovered I felt really great about it. Despite that areas of my life that are not quite as savory, I drag myself to the gym after work, I sweat and push myself and walk away feeling like a rock star!!!!!

I am going to try to keep this momentum up. Last year I dropped two sizes and now that its August... I have less time to match (if not exceed that!). But I resolve to do it!!!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy... 13 Minutes at a Time!

The above photo shows four days worth of workouts in the span of two weeks. But what it signifies is much, much more! It's a photo of baby steps. It's a photo of my progress, thus far. It's a photo of the beginning of what is to come!

It's been a month, and I've been doing a really great job with going to the gym. I'm starting at going twice a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and on the other days I walk from my job to the West 4th Street train station to get home (which is about a mile). And so far, I feel a great deal of relief to be back on track!!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy.... And TOTALLY Rewards Herself with Food!!

I know, I know... I've written in the past about how you shouldn't reward yourself with food, and I'm proud to say I've stuck by that resolution. But....

Rather than dedicate a whole paragraph to an excuse or any other justification I pulled out of my bum, I'm just going to post a picture of this:

That, ladies and gentlemen is a GREEN TEA LAVA CAKE. Say it with me, y'all: green...tea...lava...cake.

Everything about that makes me scream "Get in mah stomach!!", but even though I discovered this culinary proof that there is a Divine presence in the Universe that loves us weeks ago, I haven't magically materialized to Spot Dessert Bar here in NYC to partake. Oh no...

I've decided that I'm going to make a little deal with myself. If I go to the gym 10 times starting this week, I will treat myself to this confection next month.

Am I a huge hypocrite? Yes... is it backsliding? Absolutely....

But look at that picture!!! ROTFLMAO

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: And Joins a GYM!!!

As I promised, I bought myself an early Valentine's Day present: A membership to the Planet Fitness here in Brooklyn!! And let me say here, that I will not be one of those people who post on FaceBook.... all the time! LOL

I'm super excited. I plan on making my first visit sometime this week!! Hooray!! So for the months to come, instead of walking stats, I hope to be sharing my gym stats! And when the weather warms up, I will be back to walking in addition to the gym! Hooray!!!!!

This will be my first time visiting a gym, so if you have any tips or suggestions, let me know!!! I hope I can do it!!!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: December Stats

I did pretty well for December, I think. It's super cold now and I admit that since the start of 2013, I haven't been walking the 4 days a week I had planned to after work. But on the plus side, I have been eating super better, and I believe I've finally found the balance between eating good food and eating junk on occasion (A girl needs a little BBQs from time to time! LOL)

Me with my Lovely Aunt at Christmas. Please note I'm wearing my eating pants and NO shaper! LOL

I'm feeling really great about the progress I made in 2012, and I'm super excited to learn what the new year will bring for me. I have one big plan on the horizon, to make up for the fact that the cold is preventing me from wanting to take my walks. I'm calling it the best Valentine's Day present ever!!!

I'm planning on getting my very first Gym membership!!!! Right now I'm sort of torn between the Crunch Fitness Downtown Brooklyn  (Close to home) or the NYSFC in Soho (Close to the job), but I'm confident that by V-Day, I will be making my first visit to the gym that's right for me!! If you go to any of these locations, be sure to leave a comment letting me know the perks! :)

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: November Stats

So I was terribly disappointed by my walking stats for November, and I had almost contemplated not posting them out of embarrassment.

But upon further reflection, I started to understand that I did damn good this past month, considering.... Considering what? Considering the fact that I work full time now. Considering the fact that I've been racking up a butt load of overtime. Considering the fact that NYC was hit with a Super Storm and a Nor'easter two weeks in a row!

So I've revised my feelings and I am now quite proud that I walked almost forty miles last month. And the best news of all is that I've (kind of) reached my goal!!! I am now a size 18 in tops... though I'm still a 22 in bottoms! Whomp! Whomp! LOL

HORRIBLE picture of me: Just home from working 8 hours and walking 3 miles, so I was not looking very glamorous... But I am wearing a size 18 top, so YAY! LOL

Reaching my goal partly has given me the motivation to reach it completely. I don't know if I'll get there by the end of December, which was my original plan. But I know with certainty that I will reach it, and that I will keep walking (weather permitting.. it's getting cold here!) And I will start eating better than I have been to get myself back on track!!!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: October Stats

I'm back with last month's walking stats and my Miss Moon Gets Healthy progress. I did really really well this past month, I think. The only hindrance was the appearance of Super Storm Sandy, because as a result I didn't walk for an entire week during the clean up process.

I actually had the golden opportunity to go shopping to get a few new items for work, and the funniest thing was that I was so hesitant to get a smaller size. It was like I was paralyzed with fear that if I bought these smaller sized clothes, go home and they don't fit... I will feel like a failure. I had to pep talk myself with the obvious statement that if they don't fit, I can return them for a larger size. And the most fabulous thing was that I didn't have to return them. The smaller sized clothes fit me just fine. And it was a bizarre concept to me... I am actually two sizes smaller than I had been for YEARS!!!

I am so very close to my year end goal, and now that I'm working, I understand the importance of keeping the walking going. I don't know if I can realistically walk 20 miles a week, so for November I will shorten the goal to 10 miles a week. Once I get used to the process, I will up the ante. I also would very much like to join a gym by year's end, because once the weather gets colder here in NYC, I'm not going to want to be walking around for an hour and a half a day! LOL

On a side note, my tee shirt says, "My Vote Rocks"... because it TOTALLY does!! And so does yours! So be sure to get out there and vote today!!!!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: September Stats

I did it, y'all! I kept the promise I made to myself at the end of August. To paraphrase the song, I picked myself up, dusted myself off... and started all over again. I had a great month, to be honest.

This month, I am keeping momentum going. I've put myself to the challenge of walking at least 20 miles a week, and I aim to stick to that goal. I really need to improve the food I eat, as I've slacked more than a little bit. This month, I will work my arse off to improve this, too.

Me in my "Post Walk Un-Pretty" glory!! LOL

I am looking forward to the challenge, as I feel like I have the endurance required to achieve my goal for the year!!! Super duper close to it, can't turn back now!!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy... and Realizes She HAS Lost Weight!!!

So Picasa has this new feature (Perhaps it's old and I'm just noticing it) that recognizes faces and groups photos together based on the photos. It was in perusing that album containing nothing but my face (a cringe-worthy at times, but fun experience) that it finally dawned on me that yes, Audrey... you've lost weight!!! Pictures don't lie.... unless you use Photoshop! LOL

I remember reading an interview Ricki Lake had given about her weight loss where she said that for years after she had lost the bulk of her weight it was difficult to look at herself in the mirror and not see her former self. I think this will most likely be the case for me as well. Despite all the evidence that proves I've lost weight, it's still a difficult concept to accept for me.

As a matter of fact, I think Ricki and I might be "weight loss twinsies", because her story sounds a lot like me earlier this year. Fingers crossed I'll have similar results!

This month has proven to be a great one for me, as I've returned to my "Get Healthy" routine full throttle, and I am very excited to see if I can reach my goals for the remainder of the year. And this time next year, wouldn't it be great to post a three picture comparison?!?! Yay!!!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy... By Staying the Course!!

I find myself at a crossroads in my "Get Healthy" journey. On one path, I see myself the way I'd like to be if I continue on my journey: healthier, slimmer, more energetic, feeling loads better about myself. 

On the other path, I see the destination if I allow myself to give up my goals: I become the inactive, unhealthy, unhappy woman I was before I started on this journey. 

Regretfully, there will be no walking stats for this month, because I honestly did not walk. I managed to leave the house and walk briefly around my neighborhood for various errands each day, and I still manage to eat far better than I was.... but I haven't been giving it my all. The heat rash was a big reason, but I think that the main reason was fear of what will happen when I reach my goal. I've come to realized that being a big woman is so much a part of my own personal identity for myself that it scared me to see myself dropping the weight and getting smaller so quickly.

I know I have to get over this, because it's my health I'm doing this for... not for becoming some skinny minnie. I don't want the diabetes and high blood pressure and cholesterol concerns members of both sides of my family face. I'm discovering that this is the greatest motivation out there for someone like me.  

I am two sizes away from reaching my goal for 2012, and quite realistically, I can achieve this goal if I continue on the path I started at the beginning of the year. I kept it simple, and I reaped the benefits. 

So I promise to you all... Audrey is going to stay her course. She is going to walk.She is going to eat well, she is going to stay motivated, and come October, she will be sharing her September stats with all of you!! And I am going to need your help and support more than ever now!!!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: July Stats

July was a much better month for yours truly! I had (many) moments of not feeling very motivated, but I still managed to get out and walk this past month. I am noticing that I'm walking less and burning less, but I really want to improve that. I have to... if I want to reach my fitness goals by year's end.

The same reason why there is no present picture is the same reason why I haven't been able to walk this month yet. I broke out on my face and neck with a horrible case of prickly heat (which is a nice way of saying heat rash). Sweating makes it worse, which makes it difficult to heal, so I've been sustaining from walking just now until I feel better. Now you know what my last post was about as well.

Fingers crossed the rash clears up very soon, so that I can be out and about and getting healthy!!!!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: And Drinks Water... Lots and Lots of Water!!!

I know for a lot of people, drinking water is a huge bummer. A necessary one, but a bummer nonetheless. And you all might consider me a bit of a weirdo, but I happen to LOVE the way water taste. I happen to think that cold water is the yummiest thing when you're hot and thirsty! I love it, my body definitely loves it, so I drink it.

When I started on my journey to getting healthy, I knew that one of the first things I needed to do is to remove all the sugary sweet drinks I consumed and replace them all in water. And I did... in the past three months, I can honestly say I've had a diet soda once, an iced tea, and a vitamin water. I can literally count the non-water drinks I've had. Everything I drink (with the exception of my daily green smoothies.. yep, that's still going on!) is water. Don't believe me?

Pictured: LOTS of bathroom trips!!

I snapped this photo this past weekend to show the amount of water I consume in a single day. Three 50.7 fluid ounces of filtered tap water (in a smart water bottle, 'cause I'm fancy like that!), and I enjoyed a 25.3 fl oz bottle of Perrier with dinner (it's a great way to fool yourself into thinking you're having a soda with dinner!! lol). All together, that makes 177.4 fluid ounces of water I drank. In one day.

Some days I drink a lot more, some days I drink a bit less. But on average, this is what I work with. When I don't pick up a Perrier (or a Pellegrinno, which is my fave!), I will drink another 50.7 ounce of water. Frankly, my love affair with water is waning a bit, but still I do it. Why? Here's a few great reasons:

Lose weight: Drinking water helps you lose weight because it flushes down the by-products of fat breakdown. Drinking water reduces hunger, it’s an effective appetite suppressant so you’ll eat less. Plus, water has zero calories. 

Look Younger with Healthier Skin: You’ll look younger when your skin is properly hydrated. Water helps to replenish skin tissues, moisturizes skin and increases skin elasticity.

Better Productivity at Work: Your brain is mostly made up of water, thus drinking water helps you think better, be more alert and more concentrated.

Better Exercise: Drinking water regulates your body temperature. That means you’ll feel more energetic when doing exercises. Water also helps to fuel your muscle.

Less Likely to Get Sick and Feel Healthy: Drinking plenty of water helps fight against flu and other ailments like kidney stones and heart attack. Water adds with lemon is used for ailments like respiratory disease, intestinal problems, rheumatism and arthritis etc. In another words one of the benefits of drinking water is that it can improve your immune system. Follow this link for further information on how lemon water can improve your health.

Relieves Fatigue: Water is used by the body to help flush out toxins and waste products from the body. If your body lacks water, your heart, for instance, needs to work harder to pump out the oxygenated blood to all cells, so are the rest of the vital organs, your organs will be exhausted and so will you.

Good Mood: Your body feels very good and that’s why you feel happy.

So drink up, everybody!! 

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: June Stats

June was definitely a redeeming month for yours truly in regards to my Get Healthy plan! I successfully gave up meat for the entire month, embraced and conquered my 30 Day Green Smoothie challenge, and reached new heights with my walking!!!

71.9 miles is fantastic considering I dropped my daily walks down to once a day!! And I am very, very happy to announce the most exciting results of them all....

Not my most glamorous picture, but I'd just came back from a walk! 

I've gone down TWO sizes from the beginning of the year, and have gone from a size 26 to a size 22!!!! My aim is to reach a size 18 by the end of the year, and if I continue on this path, I am confident that I can do it!!

The goal for July is to continue the Green Smoothie challenge (I'm loving it!!), keep walking (I will need some new sneakers, as I mentioned on the Miss Moon's Musings FaceBook page), keep motivated,  and keep pushing on to my goals!!!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: And Learns to Eat When She's Hungry!!

I'm a woman of my word, what can I say?!? LOL

I've never been the type of woman who stereotypically overeats when depressed or sad. When life hands me lemons, I don't immediately run to the tub of ice cream. Quite the contrary, when I'm depressed, I seldom eat. I don't get much of an appetite in those times.

Life has been going very well for me lately, so of course I've been eating regularly. In starting my "Miss Moon Gets Healthy" journey, I've noticed that the potential for overeating doesn't happen when I'm sad... it happens when I'm BORED!!

As I've mentioned before, I've dealt with insomnia for most of my adult life. And on many nights, I'd be up, wide awake, and watching Bollywood movies on my laptop on Netflix. My mind would wander to thoughts like, "Mmmm.... some potato chips would be great right now!". And I would pause whatever movie I'm watching, which most likely stars hotties like ShahRukh Khan, and run to the bodega around the corner of the 24 hour 7/11 in my area. 

Recently, such a thought popped in my mind. I was immersed in the film, "Swades" (Great movie, by the way! Check it out! It's streaming on Netflix!). So I paused the movie, got dressed, and went outside to visit 7/11. This was around 3 o'clock in the morning. When I got there, I was staring at the bountiful display of potato chips, in every flavor imaginable, and a single thought popped into my mind -

"Will any of these bags of potato chips help you to reach your goals?"

The answer was a resounding "No!", so I walked over to the beverages for a big bottle of water, grabbed a green apple, and went home to munch, sip, and swoon! LOL

I wish I could say that since this moment, I've steered clear of chips, cookies and other things that taste great, but aren't great for me. But alas... I've succumbed. But I am learning how to stay away when boredom strikes me, and I am confident that I will use my self-control to reach my fitness goals!!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy... and Goes Meatless for a Month!!!!

I might've told this story before. If I have, I apologize. If I haven't, settle in you're in for a treat! 

When I was in my twenties by sheer happenstance, I ended up at a petting zoo one weekend afternoon with the guy I was dating at the time. It was there that I bonded (yes, bonded) with this beautiful cow. She was so sweet!! I spent at least an hour scratching her between her ears and receiving her very wet cow kisses!

That night, my boyfriend and I decided to grab some Micky D's on the way home, and as I sat in front of my quarter pounder with cheese, I had a moment just like Lisa Simpson did! I realized that one day, that very sweet cow I enjoyed interacting with might someday be between someone's sesame seed bun. And I was saddened by that, and decided I would just opt for the fries that night.

Several years (and several burgers and steaks) later, I decided that I would stop eating meat. I didn't really have any political or personal agenda behind the change in my diet at the time, I just wanted to see what it was like and to see if I could do it. And... it wasn't all that bad, actually. But yeah.. it didn't last very long. It lasted in fact, three months short of a year. What changed? The Popeye's that opened around the corner from my apartment! LMAO

What I noticed when I dropped meat is that I had dropped two sizes in the process. Two sizes that I quickly  gained back with interest upon resuming my normal (and unhealthy) diet of deep fried crap. Which is why I'm where I am right now.

So for this month, I've decided to drop the meat from my diet. I won't officially be a vegetarian, but a pescatarian... because I plan on eating fish and seafood on occasion. I am also participating in a Green Smoothie challenge with my good friend and Pirate Sistah, Nina!

If you would've told me this time last year, that I would not only be participating in a challenge where I drink a green smoothie once a day as a meal replacement, but ACTUALLY enjoy the challenge... I would've given you the side-iest eye in the history of side-eyes! LMAO

But 12 days in, I'm really, really digging it. I have started the month with a raw food diet (for seven days), in addition to the green smoothies. This has been helpful in acclimating my body to the sudden surge in green goodness!

I have also recently joined Tout (It's kind of like if YouTube and Twitter had a baby), so be sure to check out my Tout Channel for all of my Miss Moon Gets Healthy videos! I will also be Tout-ing my smoothie recipes!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: May Stats

May wasn't a great month in the "Get Healthy" universe for me. But I am learning to really appreciate the miles I did walk and the calories I did burn, instead of criticizing myself on the distances not traveled. 

I admit that I was beating myself up... big time... because I started to falter with my walks and missed a lot of opportunities to take a walk for several days. What really turned me around was a photo I snapped of myself last week when I was visiting my Dad at his new residence (He's doing great, and really loving the new place.. especially the food! lol).

Getting dressed that day was especially fun for me because not only was that shirt one I purchased YEARS ago and had not worn because it didn't fit, but those pants I was wearing? They are my favorite pants EVER, but I had to lift them up every five minutes because they were literally falling off of me (I still chose to wear them because they're my favies! LOL)

For June, I am making some exciting new changes to the food I am eating... I'll blog about what I'm doing next week. And I will be walking only once a day now. I decided to drop the number of walks primarily because my walks are getting really longer. Instead of walking for under an hour, lately I've been walking close to two hours. I am hoping that by the end of the month, I will be walking once a day five days a week, but for now I will start with my usual four days and see what type of progress I make!

Here's to a Happy, Healthy June for us all! :)

Wanna Wanna Wednesday... FitPlate Serving Size Portion Control Plate

This week's Wanna Wanna Wednesday is very much a Miss Moon Gets Healthy collaboration. I am doing great on my journey. The one area of improvement I recognize is that I need to master the art of portion control. I suck at it!!

This most often comes into practice when eating dinner. What I usually do now is put way too little on my plate, which results in me be still hungry a few hours after my meal! When I found out that there are specifically designed plates for portion control, I was very very excited!! There are literally dozens of these things on the market, but FitPlate ($20.90, Amazon.com) caught my eye. For a lot of reasons...

I like the fact that the product claims that will help in controlling my portions (Which is goal #1) and balancing my dinner with foods from different food groups (Which I do anyway, but its all good!). 

What really caught my eye is that printed on the plate are reminders of the food options available for each food group, highlighting the very best foods in each group (In gold). 

According to their official website, " FitPlate takes the guesswork out of what to eat and how much to eat. Simply build a meal on your FitPlate and you’re done." Sounds good to me! LOL

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: And YES... She Has Snacks, Too!!

Hello, my name is Audrey... and, I like snacks! There. I've said it. I've given up on Mickey D's, I've given up on my beloved Snapple drinks and occasional Sprites... but do not ask me to forgo snacks entirely... I will cut you!! LOL

The good news is, I've recently discovered I don't have to! What was once a horrible feeling of deprivation (with the one or two relapses... I'm among friends, I'll admit it!) has turned into a beautiful moment of clarity when I came to the realization that I can eat healthily and enjoy treats that feel decadent... although they really aren't.

For this post, I will share four of my favorite go to snack choices: two sweet and two savory. And believe it or not, each of these treats are under 200 calories!

I've always enjoyed watermelon, but I must admit... It was never my favorite. I was always a cantaloupe girl, thanks to my Aunt Jo Ann, who would eat a slice of cantaloupe, toast and a cup of tea for breakfast all the time when I was growing up. She probably still does.

I recently read that watermelon is not only great way to trick your mind into thinking it's getting a sweet treat, it's totally good for you and is only 94 calories for a cup of the melon diced!

I am a potato chip junky... I love chips and can say quite wholeheartedly that they are my favorite thing to snack on. Unfortunately, I have yet to find a tried and true potato chip that is low in calories and won't fill my body with salt, salt, and more salt. Special K Cracker Chips are a nice alternative.

They aren't great, mind you. You pretty much know you are not eating potato chips (They are like a rice cake/ potato chip hybrid) but to enjoy 30 chips for 110 calories.. I'll take it! LOL

I do not play around with my fudge pops. Even before Getting Healthy, I avoided them because they can very easily become an obsession with me. When I spotted these Low Fat Greek Frozen Yogurt Fudge Bars from Jala, I was IMMEDIATELY suspicious about the taste. I mean it contains active probiotis, it's only 110 calories, low fat... how good can they taste?!?!?

My friends... these things are THE BOMB!!!!! After walking twice a day, getting hot and sweaty in the process... nothing soothes my sore muscles like these frozen yogurt bars... Seriously!

They also have Ice Cream Sandwiches, which I am planning on getting for Mizz Lennid, who is the Ice Cream Sandwich Queen! LOL

Popcorn and ABC's Revenge... that is my Wednesday night in a nutshell, as I've mentioned on FaceBook and Twitter quite often. I bet some of you were going,  "How are you eating popcorn and you're all 'Get Healthy', Audrey?!?".... The answer's quite simple, Light Popcorn. It tastes good.. really. And for the first time in my life my mouth doesn't HURT after eating popcorn from the abundance of salt. Have you ever had that feeling!?  Ugh, T.V.W... The very worse!!! 

Five cups of this popcorn (Which is almost half a bag!)? Only 100 calories!!! I usually pop up a bag on Wednesday night.. eat half, and then enjoy the other half Friday or Saturday night with a good movie!

What are your favorite healthy items to snack on.. I'm all about building my arsenal when a snack attack strikes, so leave a comment and share what you like!!! That rhymed! LOL

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: With a NEW Way to Reward Herself!!!

At the start of my fitness journey, I would periodically give myself a little treat to reward myself for the hard work I've accomplished. The treat?!? A thick juicy bacon cheeseburger from Jake's BBQ here in Brooklyn. Sooo good! They're on Seamless Web, my Brooklyn friends... check 'em out!

When I would indulge in my treat, it didn't feel unsatisfying, but it also didn't make me feel great either, when I'm honest about it. I didn't feel TREATED... I felt a bit... guilty for doing something I felt was counterproductive to all I'm trying to accomplish. And I've always been a person who believes that good things should be rewarded, and if you choose to reward yourself with a burger, or cupcake, or WHATEVER food you love... I say more power to you!!

I just came to the conclusion that for me... my idea of a treat wasn't a burger. Sorry, Jake's! LOL What really brought home the message of my "A-Ha!" moment was a pin I spotted on Pinterest (That site is a great motivational tool for me, feel free to check out my boards if you haven't already! There's a whole "Miss Moon Gets Healthy" section):

When I saw this, I immediately thought to myself, "This is what I needed to read!!!". I promptly thanked the Universe for the sign that I was making the right choices for my life, and I vowed to pick different treats for myself to reward my workouts. 

And it's really worked out well for me! I'm slowing reprogramming myself to not equate unhealthy food with rewards. Because the way I see it... if junk food is a treat, what's healthy food?!? A punishment! And it really isn't (Except wheatgrass... I'm sorry, but Yecch! lol).

I've treated myself to an eyebrow waxing, those adorable new earrings from Dean + Gray, a new lipstick, and I had to take a moment to include my reward for April.... Do you remember my Quest for THE Bag 2011?!?!? Well......

Not my most glamorous photo, but I was just back from a walk and THE Bag was in the mail, so I had to snap a photo!!! LMAO

What better message that you're on the right path then something you've wanted for OVER A YEAR (!!!!) suddenly becoming a possibility!?!?!? I found it for a STEAL on eBay! And thanks to my wonderful mother (who accepts weekly repayment plans), it's MINE!!! And the feeling I felt when I put that bag on my arm.... was satisfying!!!!

And I looked at my Get Healthy path in a new light. I was tenacious enough to keep checking eBay for over a year until I found THE Bag.... Imagine how far I will go if I put that much zeal into getting healthy and losing this weight?!? I think I do... so let's see how far I'll go between now and next year!

Miss Moon Gets Healthy: And Learns to Love Her Skinny Sistren (And Herself!)

I've never considered myself a hater of slim women before. I never even partook in the "skinny women are evil" campaign... even in jest. This is something I'm especially proud of, because in being full figured for most of my adult life, I've had random strangers speak so disrespectfully of me... all because I dared walk into their field of vision being the size I am. I never felt good after those encounters, so I am not about to make anyone feel that way. Ever! But something happened to me last week that really opened my eyes. It's not my finest moment, I admit... but there's a revelation in the story, so I'm inclined to share it.

For my daytime walks, I like to walk up to Lafayette Avenue and circle Von King Park a few times before I make the trek back home. The park is beautiful, and has the only working water fountain in Bed-Stuy, it seems.. so its a good place to go and get hydrated while walking, since I never carry water with me (I know.. major no no!). The first time I tried to lap the park, I thought I was going to die. Now, I can do 5-7 laps, something I am very proud of myself about.

I'm a life long insomniac, and my sleep schedule gets wonky at times. Such has been the case recently, so my "daytime walks" have been happening around 4 or 5 pm. And lately, when I've been circling the park I've encountered this woman jogging. She's... amazing! She glides around the blocks effortlessly in her little running shorts, ponytail swinging to and fro, much like the woman pictured above.

When I first laid eyes on her, to paraphrase comedian Louis C.K. (I know I quote him a lot, but really.. sometimes he puts things  EXACTLY the way I would!!), I had to stop walking, because I needed my whole body to hate her with! LOL

Why did I hate her? Because she made me feel like a major chump for daring to walk my big ass around this park, panting and sweating like a hooker in church while she jogs past me... thin and beautiful and glistening. She actually effin' glistens... she doesn't sweat!!! I felt horrible about myself, and experienced a "Oh, what's the use?!?" moment, so I stopped circling the park around two laps and walked back home, contemplating walking someplace else from now on, until my sleep schedule gets right, and I could get to the park earlier. 

What's funny is that this whole situation was that this was also the day that I took the photo of myself that I shared in my last Get Healthy entry. I went home and told my Mum about this woman, and she said to me, "Don't worry.. this time next year, you'll be jogging along side of her!". She went on to tell me that she can very clearly see that I have lost weight and that my attitude and posture has improved since I've started walking. Which was great to hear, because as I've said.. I don't see it yet. I feel it, definitely, but I still look like the big girl I always was. And she's fine.. she's great in fact. But I wanted to see some evidence that I'm on the right path.

And I had an epiphany. I didn't hate this women because she's perfect and I'm not... I didn't hate her at all, but I envied her because she represented something I thought I couldn't achieve. She was like a carrot dangling over my head that I had no chance in hell of catching... And seeing her pass me by when she jogs felt..... cruel to me. When I reflected on this some more, my attitude changed. Because that carrot?!? It's TOTALLY something I have the capacity to catch. And I will catch it. It might not be next year, as Mizz Lennid predicts, but it will happen. And I took the picture in part as a reminder to myself that I have already made great strides and will continue to do so. Which is a perfect opportunity to say....Thank you, Everyone, for the words of encouragement here, on Twitter, and on The Miss Moon's Musings FaceBook page!! Your excitement about my progress is a big part of what keeps me going!

So when I saw the woman again, instead of hating her (Really, hating myself.. let's be honest!) I sent her a silent "Thank you!", and repeated my thanks each time she lapped me around the park. Because she represents the possible results of the path I have started: A women who is fit, healthy, and effortlessly pacing Von King Park like a mickey ficky BOSS... her ponytail whipping to and fro. Perhaps one day, when I am feeling especially brave I will thank her personally. For now, this post is a start. :)