And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.
~ Author Unknown
The following is an excerpt from one of my (many!) old journals, dated Wednesday, November 1, 2006:
"Today was a quiet sort of day. I made no success in job searching, but I remain optimistic. As time progresses I know that I am one step closer to obtaining all of my dreams. And this allows me to not live each day in quiet desperation, and allow me to do what must be done, manage to have as much fun as possible... all with the knowledge that my future is on the horizon."
If the woman I am today could sit down and have tea with the woman I was back then, I bet the me from the past would be astonished about where and who I am now. And today, reading these words of optimism and self-assurance is an inspiration for me. It serves as a reminder of where I've been along this journey called life, and it makes me very excited about the woman I'll be, five years from now, reading this blog entry.
I can honestly say that recently I've been at a point where I've felt very stuck in my life: content, but not very thrilled about the world around me. And in reflecting on this feeling, I found myself all wrapped up in the "could-a, would-a, should-a"s, which is NEVER a motivating thought to have. I took me going back and reading through my journal pages from the past ten years to truly see the picture: I have come a tremendously long way!!! It took that zealously optimistic 28 year old to become the 33 year old woman I am today. Older, yes. Wiser, I think so. Happier? Honestly? Yes!
Below are powerful words from Iyanla Vanzant that I feel really bring to light the energy that was surrounding my 28 year old self back then. At 33, I feel like a new blossoming in in store for me, and I am so happy and grateful to see what will develop for yours truly:
Guess what? You are not the worst person in the world! Sure, you've made some bad judgment calls, taken some pretty foolish chances, created some awful situations, but you give yourself too much credit. Others have done far worse. Then there are those people who haven't done anything to anyone -- ever. They are quiet. Go unnoticed. They have flawless characters and records. But you know what? They haven't done anything for themselves either.
They are probably just as, if not more, miserable and confused as you. Think about it this way: The future will be what you make it today. Whether you are the doer or a nondoer, you must work on the future. If you've made a mess, clean it up. If you are afraid to take a chance, take one anyway. If you've done things that didn't work, do something else. If you have done nothing, do something. What you don't do can create the same regrets as the mistakes you make. In the long run, either you must happen to life, or it will never happen for you.
Step by step, I am getting better and better.
From Acts of Faith
by Iyanla Vanzant